Today is 3/14 which also happens to be Pi Day. It is the day we celebrate the mathematical constant Pi, π. I learned this as I was searching in Google. While reading about the day on Wikipedia, I also learned that today is also Albert Einstein’s birthday – seems rather fitting that his birthday lands on such a mathematically significant date.
You may have noticed a certain lull in daily posts and/or that the Florida trip wasn't quite recapped in February as planned. I blame these all on March Madness. Though March is my favourite month (primarily because it contains my birthday), it is also one of the busiest, especially since I started working at DST. As it marks the end of the Federal Fiscal year, all federal projects have to be wrapped up and fully invoiced by March 31st.
This being said, I have tried my best to keep posts coming as often as possible throughout the last little while and will continue to do so until this is all over, but please bear with me. Features may be a little behind schedule and posts may not be as interesting as they ought to be - but it is only temporary, I promise.
Write about a goal you've had trouble achieving.
I think everyone who reads my blog or knows me in real life (or both) knows that my true passion is photography. One of my biggest goals in life is to become a professional photographer. In my mind, I have always thought of becoming a professional engineer and doing photography on the side as to not suck the life out of it. Lately though, I have dreamt of doing it full-time as I am not completely satisfied with my current full-time job as an (environmental) engineer in training.
Either way, neither goal is really moving forward at a pace that makes me happy (or even content). I am taking night courses and I am definitely learning more and more about photography as I progress through the program, but I am miles away from the quality of photographs that the pros put out.
To make a long story a little less long, my photography is advancing, I just wish it would pick up the pace a little.
I have been alive for over two and a half decades, but it is only this last one that I remember with almost perfect clarity. You see, in the beginning of 1990-1999 I was barely in school and can only remember certain moments, and even those may be contrived from photographs I have seen and stories I have been told. During the last decade though, I was 15 to 25 years old and able to remember everything - though not everything is worth remembering. Below is a listing of personal highlights and a photo of myself from each year in the past decade:
2000 - got my driver's license; house was robbed; finished technology enriched school program;
2001 - broke up with first serious boyfriend; travelled to Moosonee; took first college course in photography; learned how to develop film photographs; thought of becoming an architect; became co-president in several clubs (and remained until end of high school). Below p
hoto taken either by my friend Alaina or myself. Either way, it is from one of the many nights I spent at Alaina’s. Notice the curly hair – she did it and it likely lasted about 1 hour.
2002 – started using ICQ to talk to pretty much everyone; received SLR camera; learned how to take manual photos; started playing rugby on high school team. Below photograph taken by me while sitting in front of the computer in my parent’s house.
2003 - graduated from high school; started university; met best friend; lived in university residence; lost 25 pounds; stopped drinking alcohol (no real reason); employed at Forwarders' Museum. Below p
hoto taken in my residence room while I was studying chemistry with Justin
2004 - started dating the love of my life; Tyler graduated from university; moved into rented house with friends; mom diagnosed with breast cancer; worked for last time at Forwarders' Museum; failed first course ever. Below p
hoto taken by Dave. This was one of the last days of first year – Dave and I took photos of each other around campus as we were going to be apart for the entire summer.
2005 - failed second course; starting working at City of Ottawa (Eng. Assistant); started budget spreadsheet; lost 20 pounds. Below photograph by me. Taken in my room on Glen after getting my hair cut short. I think there are remnants of the first dye-job I had done (blonde highlights).
2006 - moved in with Dave (in ‘boy house’); started my first blog; saw first Cirque de Soleil show live; learnt how to make bead jewellery. Below p
hoto was taken at my City of Ottawa job - it was a co-worker's birthday.
2007 - Eddy died; stopped receiving money from parents (for rent/bills); went to Chris' cottage for first time; worked at City of Ottawa while finishing up B.Eng; got my iron ring; graduated from university; ended career as professional student (over 19 years spent full-time in school). Below p
hoto was taken by Dave. I am holding my B.Eng degree from Carleton University in my room in the ‘boy house’.
2008 - travelled to England; flew in plane for first time; got my first dSLR camera; moved into rented townhouse with just Dave; got EI for 1 month; had the first job I really hated; got my first real engineering job; started night courses in photography; Tyler got married. Below photo was taken in the London Eye while Chris and I were on travelling there.
2009 - got in a car accident; bought my first car; traveled to Montreal; traveled to Chicago; started my grown-up life. Below photo was taken by Christine Sweeton for a class assignment. 
I did it – I remembered a few things from each year AND found a photo of myself from each year (though some were hard to find and most had few options). Now it is on to 2010 (though I realize it has already started). I do not know what the next decade holds for me or those I care about – though I do hope the majority of it is worth writing good things about in 2020.
For the last two weeks our friend Justin was staying at our place. He arrived the Thursday, Oct. 29 and whipped up some costumes then went to the Halloween parties with us. We spent the rest of the time, generally hanging out and playing a tons of computer and PS3 games.
He stayed until two Saturdays ago when he had his convocation from Carleton University. He graduated from the computer engineering program there and is now back home in Kingsville. 
It was a lot of fun having him around again. Since he left back in April, Ottawa had been a little less nerdy and Dave and I have had one less person to hang out with. Hopefully, he will be able to come back again soon.
A while back DST was part of a project to get an award for one of our clients. I was part of the project and later on inherited it as project manager. We got word last week that the building had won the award and I was asked by my boss to write up and article for our in house newsletter, the Mini Drill Press (MDP).
I whipped up an article, got Dave to review it, and after some editing by my boss, it was published in the MDP. It got displayed in the middle of the newsletter in a pretty significant way, with a bold background and distinctly different header. I am pretty happy with it, though it is more report-like than fluffy news article - but it is a newsletter for an engineering consulting firm.
Think of the biggest goal or dream you have. Is life giving you a red, yellow, or green light?
I think everyone who reads this knows one of my biggest dreams and career goals is to be a photographer. I believe life is giving me a yellow (amber) light right now. I am taking the night courses at Algonquin to advance my skills but at the same time could never really go after my dream right now as I need the money from my engineering job (and the experience to be able to get my P.Eng in a few years). So I am moving forwards but not nearly as quickly as I would like. But hey, at least I am moving faster than I was a few years ago and am actually doing something to get closer to my dreams.
The previous three days at work have been full of training. Topics such as asbestos, mould Indoor Air Quality, etc have been convered in great detail as well as topics like invoicing and other essential administrative tasks. The days have gone by pretty quickly and it really hasn't been nearly as boring as it could have been. I have done a great deal of doodling on my notes and found myself thinking about cars a fair bit as well. Now comes the task of catching up with my clients and getting all my jobs back on track.
I am currently unhappy with my work. I have been for quite some time now and am just starting to realize that there is little I can do about it for quite awhile longer. I need to get more experience in my field (aka this job) before I can go looking for other work. I don't know if it is this specific job that is upsetting me at the moment or just the fact that I have to work in general - or perhaps that I am not working in something I really love. I would love to go back to school full-time for photography but then I would have wasted the last 5 or 6 years getting where I am now, night courses will have to do for now. I do like being an engineer, don't get me wrong, and perhaps I just haven't found the right position in this field yet in which case I need to stick it out a little longer here to get enough experience to land a better job somewhere else. I know I am not the only junior here who feels this way as we are all underpaid and overworked - in a funny way, the fact that others are suffering here helps it be okay that I am too.
The dictionary defines the word perpetual as "a feeling, state or quality that never ends or changes". Earlier this evening my Aunt told me that I seemed to be a perpetual learner and I begun to think about this comment.
I have been in school since I was 4 years old, about 20 years in total; 10 years in elementary school (8 years plus both junior and senior kindergarten), 5 years in high school (including OAC) and 4 and a half years in university (mind you I also took two summers worth of courses). I know that when I was not old enough to go to school I would pretend that I was going when my older brother went. I would try and suck as much information from him as I possibly could when he got home - I just couldn't get enough of it. Throughout my 20 years in school, I excelled. Not because I was inherently smart or anything like that, but because I enjoyed doing well. For the most part I enjoyed the schoolwork and what I was learning - though there were a few physics, thermodynamics and fluid courses in there I could have done without.
Now that I have officially graduated and completed the path that we are 'supposed' to take these days (elementary, secondary and post secondary) I have found that I am still hungry for information. I am done - and yet I continue. I have taken so far one term worth (one course) of photography courses at Algonquin College. I loved that first course. It ended mid-December and until today I was not taking any courses - I felt a little deprived. I have been lacking new information. I have come to the realization that I like to learn.
I have a hypothesis for this: I know how to learn. I have essentially been a professional student for about 20 years. I only started to work in the last 5 years of this time frame and even then, only for about 4 months at a time. At any significant point in my life I can pretty much guarantee that I was in school and was learning something. It is a staple in my life and in some weird way, I think it is a comfort.
My life post-graduation has been a little uncertain. I only recently became employed in my field and before this I was very stressed and generally concerned about never being able to find something. Throughout that time, I would surf the net and research certificate programs for different fields such as photography or web-design, etc. I would plan out the path I may or may not want to take to achieve the program requirements and try and figure out every aspect of that process (costing, timing, etc). It gave me some weird feeling of security to know that I could always go back to school. Perhaps this is why so many people get masters and PhDs in many areas - learning is enjoyable and comforting for them in a similar way that it is to me.
I am currently on the road to obtaining a Certificate in Digital Photography. I do not believe I will stop there - whether the future courses lead to more certificates or not, I do not know, but I believe I will keep trying to find new ways to learn.
I have two site visits this week and then an unknown number coming up in the weeks before Christmas. DST has some major projects coming our way and everyone will be doing site visits which means I will be getting tons of really great experience. In fact there are so many site visits to be done that my boss is sending out our AutoCADD technician as a field technician. I am both nervous and excited about the site visits - I want the experience and know-how but really don't want to screw up.
As everyone knows by now, I have started a new job in my field at DST Consulting Engineers here in Ottawa (though they also have offices in Thunder Bay, Kenora, Sudbury and Dryden). I am currently working on Designated Substance Reports (DSRs) although I recently wrote a mould report as well. There are 11 designated substances that are regulated by the provincial government and consists of: Acrylonitrile, Arsenic, Asbestos, Benzene, Coke oven emissions, Ethylene Oxide, Isocyanates, Lead, Mercury, Silica, and Vinyl Chloride. The reports I am writing are primarily concerned with asbestos, benzene, lead, mercury and silica (as well as ozone-depleting substances [ODSs] and polychlorinated biphenyls [PCBs]).
So far, I am doing my best to understand the terminology used for each of these substances and trying to see what everyday items have them as a constituent through the pictures taken from the different sites we have surveyed. I think I am picking some things up already as I am starting to see items differently already, sort of similar to how I now think of catch basins as CB or CBHD (the cell names in Miscrostation) from my CADD monkey job with the City.
I hope I am able to get the theory part of this job down with all these reports I am writing, though I am still a little scared of the practical components as I have never really worked on those before. Hopefully I will be able to pick them up quickly and effectively too.
On September 9, 2008 I started on my way to my professional license. I finally have a job in my field and am earning valuable experience towards my P.Eng. I know work at DST Consulting Engineers Inc. as an Environmental Scientist. So far I am just writing lots of reports as the company finishes up a big project they have been working on for quite some time, but eventually my job will also entail completing surveys for designated substances (including asbestos) and other jobs revolving around indoor air quality and building environments. I am looking forward to learning more and becoming more involved with the jobs.
I just registered in a night course at Algonquin College!
I have decided that come the end of my contract (August 15th) I will no longer be working at Drain-All. The position isn't in my field and though my boss told me he would look into moving me within the company into something that suited me, and my education, better - I know believe that to have been false promises to get me to stick around as long as possible. The people have been great there and though I do not entirely enjoy the work I have gotten used to going in everyday.
I am hoping to land a job in my field when fall comes around as I am told many more opportunities open up then. My professors and past classmates told me this during convocation and their reasons why seem logical. So fingers crossed on that one - again.
I feel ashamed lately.
Thursday is my convocation and I am dreading many aspects of it. I will be asked my classmates if I have a job in my field and all that - and I do not. My job doesn't even come close to my field and I am so ashamed. Almost all of the students who graduated with me in December have jobs - proper jobs and I do not. I am not really sure why I haven't gotten one yet - I have looked as hard as I could and only gotten a couple interviews so far - most for jobs that didn't even exist and the companies just wanted to talk to me.
I don't know what to say - I don't know what to do.
I just feel so stupid, useless and professionally undesirable.
I feel so ashamed.
A little update about my new job as an administrative assistant.
I believe I am getting the hang of it. I was the only assistant to the sales team in the office yesterday and I believe it went well - stressful but well. Today I am alone again and the sales reps are gone too for most of the day so I have few people to bounce things off of. But it is going well so far *knock on wood*.
As frustrating and stressful as it is to be doing this alone, it has given me more confidence in my job. Now I just have to hope that my boss comes back to work soon (he has been sick for the past two weeks - poor guy) and is able to move me into a position which might help me get a future position in my field (in a different company since the kind I want don't really exist here).
I did have an interview this last Monday and there might be come piece-work consultation jobs coming my way *fingers crossed*. Although I am not really sure how that will work with this job I have now - I may have to give it up to be able to get some hours in my field...it would be worth it in the long run...I hope.
I am having doubts about my job. Doubts about my performance and doubts about how well it fits my needs and desires.
Part of the problem, I think, is that I am deeply ashamed that I do not yet have an engineering job or an environmental job. I feel like I am wasting my degree when it took me so much time and energy and will-power to get through it and earn the stupid thing. I also feel pressure from others to get a proper job I am educated for.
Hopefully I will get better acquainted with how things work around here and a little more trained in my tasks - I hope it happens really soon too.
I got a call today from one of the staffing companies I am registered with about a 2 week temporary administrative assistant job. I went down to their office to sign the paperwork (since I can't really be passing up job opportunities right now) and got the great news that it was actually going to be a 3 month contract position. It is from 8-5pm every weekday (as most regular jobs are). The job is basic administrative assistant work with some accounting work as well. As they are willing to train me in the accounting aspect of the job, I feel I am more than qualified for the position and will be able to excel in it. Hopefully that is what happens and I fit in well with their company and they want to keep me for the whole contract.
I am rather happy about it since I can now sign for a new home (rent of course) and be able to prove that I can pay for it and wait for it...wait for it...I can get my dSLR camera!! Anyone who has spoken more than three sentences with me lately knows how much I have been wanting it and now I can actually go and get it and not feel that I am screwing myself over. So my plans (unofficial right now) are to work for a couple weeks, make sure that I am not going to get fired or 'let go' right away and then go out and get my long desired camera. I am so excited. This day has been amazing, seeing houses I want to live in and getting a job (though I would have prefered an engineering job of course). This one though, with the accounting aspect, should be helpful, it is atleast a different job than what i have had before and shows yet another side of my skills, and of course I get new ones too. I will be able to use new programs and complete new tasks that may be desirable to other companies. At the very least, it is money.
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