I am dealing with a great deal of guilt right now. The greatest of which has to do with leaving Prescott and coming here to Ottawa after Eddy died. I know that I had to come back to be able to go to work and continue with my life, but it is easier to deal with the loss of my puppy here since there are less things to remind me of him.
I feel guilty for leaving mom and dad with an "Eddy-less" house.
Eddy passed away this weekend. He was really sick as he had kidney failure along with a few other things. He was given a year to live and died two weeks after diagnosis. Not pulling that needle out of the vets hand was so hard. Agreeing about putting him to sleep was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, though I know it was right. He was so much more than just a pet as he carried our entire family through so much especially in the last few years. I will miss him forever.
I have been back at work now for almost two weeks and am alraedy incerdibly bored with it. I want paycheques but don't want to do any work for them - but doesn't everyone. For now I will just have to force myself to keep doing my work and attempting to stay at the head of the pack which for some reason I quite enjoy. I am already ahead of where I was last year at this time, which makes me feel good about my work and I haven't really been slacking off that much excluding right now of course. Unfortunately my first decent sized paycheque doesn't come until the end of the month and I have pertty much already spent it which isn't like me at all.
I got an international call this morning from Chris, which was a really fantastic way to start the day. I ended up forgetting my umbrella because I was talking to her and not really paying attention to what I was doing, but I more than likely would have forgotten it if I wasn't on the phone so it doesn't really matter. She seems to be having a really great time in Paris, which makes me happy, though also a little jealous in a healthy 'wish I could have gone too' sort of way.
My flowers are growing well. Soon I will plant everything outside and get started on my carrots (which I couldn't start inside due to the depth of soil they require). Dave said it is possible to get some tulip bulbs for next year (free) which would be nice, I like tulips, though I know others do not. I like growing things, it is nice to see something succeed like that. Though my first batch of green onions are not doing so well since I attempted to transplant them and I have not yet mastered that art - the second batch is coming up nicely though.
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